Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Where Did My Motivation Go?

It's been several months since I posted last and even before that my posts all seemed to share a common theme; I've lost my way and I'm trying to find my way back.  That's all fine and dandy, and the posts were written with true intentions; but, I am as far from where I want to be as is possible.  I'm ashamed and embarrassed to admit it; but, there it is.  The truth.  

I can't pinpoint the exact moment it happened.  Nor am I really looking to.  I'm not placing blame on anyone or anything; especially not myself.  Do I hold myself accountable?  100%.  I am human.  We make mistakes.  It's what we take away from those mistakes or lapses in judgement that make the difference.  My lapse in judgement or my mistake; however you look at it, has been not only in eating more than I should, but in also eating the WRONG types of foods.  High fat goodies are my downfall and now all those beautiful clothes I bought to celebrate my move to ONEderland now either don't fit or are tight and not flattering.  

40lbs is what I have gained.  Yes, that means I'm still less than my start weight; but, I'm not happy.  It's not about the number on the scale anymore.  Although, that's definitely what motivated me in the beginning.  I feel...blah.  I'm not happy with how my clothes fit, my lack of energy and my overall dragging feeling.  It's time to stop kidding myself.  I know exactly how I got back here and I know exactly what it's going to take to get where I want to be; and frankly that scares me.  I feel like somewhere along the line I lost the support of my family.  Where I could once say "please keep the junk out of the house" and they'd listen, I find I,m no longer taken seriously and the crap food makes its way in anyway.  Case in point, the kids and I ate an entire family sized bag of potato chips and half a tub of helluvagood dip tonight.  Why?!  I would have been equally happy with some baby carrots and hummus.  I haven't worked out in days even though I bought a program I really enjoy.  Again, why?  I honestly don't know.  I tell myself I'll do it tomorrow and then tomorrow gets here and I push it off again.  What the heck is wrong with me?  

I need to find my way back.  Maybe it's baby steps like drinking water every day.  Forget whole 8 glasses thing, let's just start with one!  That's it.  I think that's going to be step one, water.  We all know water is good for you and helps with weight loss.  So that will be an easily measured, attainable goal.  Let's see how well I do!  

Stay tuned for updates, and thanks for reading, if you got this far 😉

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Better Me v2.0 Week 3

This week sucked.  I gained 4lbs!?  I had one bad day, that's it.  Of course, that day was Friday, the day before weigh in.  Not only did I blow points, but I ate some seriously high sodium foods.  I've no doubt a portion of the gain is due to the salt; but 4lbs?  There's only one thing to do...keep on plugging.  I'm owing the gain, wallowing for 30 seconds and moving forward.  I've got this.  I know I do!  

Wish me luck this week.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Better Me v2.0 Week 2

Woot!  Down another 2.4lbs this week and feeling awesome!  I got out to enjoy the warmer weather with a 6km walk.

Can't wait to see how this week goes!

Monday, February 29, 2016

Better Me v2.0 Week 1

As promised, I'm taking charge and getting back on track.  I'm down 2.3lbd this week!  It feels great to be back and have a goal.  While my larger goals include losing the weight I've gained and ultimately continuing to reach my goal weight; my short term goal right now is to track everything and to change my middle number.  Small yet attainable goals will keep me motivated.

Stay tuned to see how I do this week!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Coming Clean and a Fresh Start

 A little over two years ago  I started my weight loss journey and joined weight watchers.   Within the first year, I lost 95 pounds and I was so  beyond proud of myself.  

 Sometime after the first year, I stopped tracking and weighing and measuring.  As a result, I have gained back 40 pounds.   I am disgusted with myself; after working so hard. I threw it away without much thought.   Each week I weigh in and see the scale creep up, pound by pound, and say this week I'll get back on track.  Here we are another year later and  while I can still say I've lost 50+ pounds, I'm not okay with it.  

 It's time to seriously get back on track.   I'm hoping this post is the start of my revamp.   Not only do I want  to lose the 40 pounds I put back on,  I want to hit my goal.   I can, and I will, but I need help.   That's why am going to start blogging again and I hope you'll follow my #weightlossjourney to a #betterme.   I'd love to hear any tips, tricks or anything that's worked for you to help you stay on track.  

My cast comes off  tomorrow and with that I hope I'll be able to get back on the treadmill at least three nights a week.   I'll start off with just walking and hopefully be able to start on my couch to 5K program all over again soon.  

 Wish me luck I'm going to need it!

Sunday, September 20, 2015

I Survived!

It's been just over a week since I completed the OneWalk for all cancers.  What an incredible experience.

As part of team RBC, we started our event with a team reception at RBC watermark place on Friday night; followed by a delicious dinner with good friends.

The morning came far too early.  Not only was it dark, it was WET!  Despite that, we were all in good spirits!  By mid morning, the rain had stopped and we were stripping off out rain ponchos.

Outside Princess Margaret hospital, walkers could sign the wall in support of those touched by cancer.  I added the name of my Papa, who passed away from bladder cancer; and, a close family friend taken far too young, from ovarian cancer.

Some refuelling for lunch and we were on our way.  I ended up with the worst Charlie horse in my calf for the last 7 or so kilometres, and while I inevitably slowed my team down, we got it done!  25km completed, all for a good cause! 

Friday, September 11, 2015

OneWalk for Cancer

I'm sitting awaiting the arrival of my friend, colleague and soul sister as we embark on a crusade together.  We are heading into Toronto where tomorrow morning, at the crack of stupid, we will begin a 25 kilometre walk in support of all cancers.

I've been fundraising for about a year, with a personal goal to raise $1500 in support of research to end this deadly disease.  10 years ago, I lost my grandfather to bladder cancer.  Not long before that, a family friend died far too young, at the age of 19, from ovarian cancer.  There are currently four members in my immediate and extended family fighting their own battles with various forms of the disease.  Needless to say, I have a very good reason to be participating in this walk and doing everything I can to support the research efforts.

I'm walking because I can.  No matter how much I am going to struggle on the walk; no matter how tired and sore I will be afterward; I will walk because what I experience is going to be NOTHING compared to what those struggling with the disease are going through.

So, wish us luck as we take on a day to walk and make a difference!  You can still show your support by donating here: