Monday, July 15, 2013

Learning How to Parent

If you're a parent, you constantly second guess yourself.  You have moments of weakness and you give into the whining tantrum; or you are at your whits end with the incessant bickering and fighting so you yell at the kids to stop.
Inevitably you feel like crap and have a good, snotty, cry afterward.  Being a parent is hard.  There's no other way to put it.  You'll beat yourself up over decisions you make good or bad.

When you learn that your child has a learning disability and ADHD, everything you thought you knew about parenting changes.  First and foremost, the diagnosis in no way affects your love for the child.  If anything, it makes your love that much deeper and it brings to the forefront those instincts to protect ones young.  But how you parent this child is affected.

Mr. Twingle and I are now faced with this very challenge.  One of our babies has received a label that will inevitably help them in the long run.  But right now, there is a whole lot of growing and changing happening in the Twingle household as we learn how to parent all over again.  It's difficult, I'm not going to lie.  All the methods for teaching, learning and discipline we have been guided to use are now, effectually, useless.  The doctor warned us that kids with ADHD are hard to parent.  She didn't sugar coat it, she just told it like it is.  Of course, this is nothing new to us; but, it made us feel a little better knowing that the endless frustration we have felt now has a reason.   It isn't the child deliberately being obnoxious and defiant; it's a mental health issue that we can now work WITH instead of against.

The road ahead is going to be bumpy.  We know that some tried and true parenting techniques just won't work for this child.  But others, that we've never tried will work wonderfully.  We are all learning how to deal with this new chapter in our lives; and no matter how hard it gets, we'll do it together.

I'd love to hear from others who have gone through, or are going through similar experiences.  How have you coped?

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